“unconditional love lets you cry flowers” ~Brianna Pastor
Brianna Pastor’s collection “Good Grief” is a jewel of a book. Her poems are deeply personal, but resonate with her readers, creating a sense of camaraderie, letting people know that while their pain is unique to them, they are not alone. Someone else has felt what you feel, someone else has lived your fears and sadness; your feelings are relevant. You matter. “i loved my sadness because it was honest,” Pastor says. She reminds us that “sometimes you walk, and you won’t get there in time. sometimes you run, and it has already passed you, sometimes you get there at exactly the right time, and exactly the right speed, and it still does not happen. when it is for you, it will be for you.” As someone who lives with major depressive disorder, I empathize with Pastor’s thought: “i dread the day these demons come back for me they have gone away to pursue better things but can never find what they’re looking for so here they come, back to me, a place where they are not wanted–for they always stop by unannounced and don’t understand the concept of manners in another person’s home” Truly, I loved this book. Beautifully written, sensitive and moving, it shows the depth of a person’s soul, and the struggle to stay strong.
This read very much like a writer telling a story based on true events. The prose poems were thoughtfully written and had beautiful descriptive wording, but the overall feel of the book was somewhat contrived.
The teakettle’s whistling is the music of sunrise musings: when I was younger I wanted to collect the stars. I had a heart full of ghosts and strawberry daydreams; I was a small-town girl with big dreams: a carnival of stars would get me there, I wouldn’t disappear like a glacier waiting for summer, instead I would become a wildflower woman. The smell of autumn is locked behind my ribcage like a child longing to be free, bare feet on soft earth, cardigan falling off a shoulder, writing our names in the clouds to feel alive: I am Sea Nymph, you be Woodland Witch. Looking into a crystal ball I see I am weathered by lost faith and heartache— please don’t let me grow cold like this winter sky. From the moment we met I knew the path to heaven is paved with frozen tears and haiku.
If Halloween and National Poetry Month were in the same month, my utter happiness would be complete. Alas, I only get to celebrate my birthday during Poetry month. To kick off the Poetry Month celebrations, one of my own:
Love Doesn’t Rhyme By Nicole Kapise Perkins
“How are you, really?”
Just one of the many things you said with too many miles between us;
you were the sun of my sky,
and yet we never exchanged friendship bracelets,
never repressed words or scary truths.
My therapist asks me to talk about you,
how we kept moving without coming forward,
the silence between us,
the things you said at 2AM when you thought no one was listening
but I was.
Am I no one?
I often feel like my body is a graveyard,
darkness planted in salted earth,
Romans laughing as Mona rots—
can people change?
All of my ghosts say no;
they snicker and point at my inner child
as she walks on eggshells,
so fearful of dying summer.
Every new September
I wake up somewhere between now and then,
a half-remembered dream:
nectar on my tongue,
withering flowers and rotting fruit—
“I am not afraid,” she says, “I was born for this.”
Bathed in a golden aura, she burned in twin flames.
I wake in sunlight
with the realization that people I don’t know have a life as vivid as my own;
you, in your sleep,
used to recite Angel numbers.
We’re strangers again,
we shared a kiss that didn’t know it was the last one.
Your sun sign wasn’t compatible,
there were too many storms to weather
and you never mastered the art of finding beauty in toxicity.
I look around at the empty chairs spaced around the office like wallflowers at a dance.
“He smelled like a bonfire,” I say.
“He tasted like burned coffee. Love doesn’t rhyme. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Uncredited: Women’s Overlooked, Misattributed, and Stolen Work” by Allison Tyra is an excellent book. She names and credits literally hundreds of women who were not recognized or rewarded for their achievements, from art to medicine to space exploration and beyond. As an amateur scholar of women’s history (i.e. I am not a student), I recognized some of these brilliant women; others I had unsurprisingly never heard of. Tyra’s book is an epic of female experience: the struggles we face, the biases we must fight against, the acknowledgements we are denied. This book should be read by all, though there will be plenty of naysayers that will insist that “it didn’t happen that way.” (And we all know who will say things like that, don’t we?)
Allison Tyra’s book should be recognized as the very valuable work of history it is. It deserves a place in classrooms as a reference book and a history of women’s experiences and accomplishments. Read this for the information, read it just because, or read it and allow yourself to fall into rabbit holes of related history. Whatever your reason, read this.
Celia Drill’s The Lost World is some of the best contemporary poetry I have ever read. Her work is enthralling; she plays with language, creating images in the mind that are a kaleidoscope of emotion and thought. I found myself highlighting entire poems instead of single lines. I read her poems two, three times over, looking for meaning withing the meaning. Drill creates surreal landscapes of sound—I read her poems out loud, wanting to feel the flow of her language.
Drill’s poem “The Raven” describes the raven thus: “When the raven appears, he is never a bird; he is always a small, dark man. He walks with a cane, with God as his witness.”
A bird dies alone in the snow: “I take her home to forest’s solace, lay her in the dark earth beneath joined pines […] The forest is mourners holding hands. My dead bird recedes into roots. And unlike me, silent stranger in dimming woods, she sings from networked branches.”
Celia Drill crafts lines of such beauty: “Rain makes widows of the ghost pines…”; “There is no time, say the dragonflies, only color.”; “Sweetness spirals from the throats of violet, coalesces, sisterhoods of stars.” Her poem “Mug for Lapsang Souchong” is as graceful as the fox that the potter dreams of.
We know writers are artists, and in The Lost World Celia Drill embodies this ideal. “I am only a sparrow,” she says, “but I am voluminous.”
In Permission, memoirist Elissa Altman asks “Who has the right to tell a family’s story? Who “owns” a family’s history? Do we need permission to tell our story?”
Altman says, “The writing of memoir is often fraught; our friends, colleagues, families, entire cultures turn writers into pariahs for what we create, for who we are, for how we dare take ownership of our own stories.” She also writes “Beyond time, space, and money to write, permission is the single biggest hurdle that the creative—new or accomplished—faces, and often over the most mundane of issues.”
I am not a memoirist; most of what I write is completely made up, influenced by true events perhaps, but very loosely so. I do not feel the desire to tell true stories, and I have never considered what my family’s reaction would be if I chose to do so. I expect there would be anger, as Altman experienced. I am sure I would be told I was wrong, lying, or accused of fabricating everything for attention. Others would relish the attention it would bring, being of the mindset that adverse attention is better than lack of attention. I do not think I would be disowned as Altman was; I think I would be allowed to remain so people could be disgusted with me.
Altman reminds her students, “No one owns the right to craft our story but us, but we must remember that the complex work of memoir demands that we also write with clarity, compassion, and ambiguity, which allows the reader to determine their own response to the story.”
Elissa Altman’s Permission is an outstanding presentation of memoir, writing, self-exploration, and how one experiences (and suffers from) a family’s reaction to a secret that needs to be told. I will be supplementing my e-copy with a print edition for both reference and the reminder that sometimes being true to oneself means standing alone in the face of disapproval and still telling my story.
Somehow it is March. This month will see the change of the season as we finally (!) move into spring. It is the season of new beginnings, growth, and change. I can’t wait!
I feel as though February left me scrambling. I didn’t accomplish any of my goals for the month and made zero progress on any of my projects. I did write to some new people for InCoWriMo that I want to keep in touch with (March goal 1: keep up with my correspondence) and I finished my February TBR list as well as a couple extra books. (March goal 2: write and post review of TBR books as I finish them)
I am a little disappointed that I didn’t make any progress on my professional or personal goals, but I have decided to give myself some grace. I have wasted far too many years being angry with myself for not being perfect and doing everything I feel I am “supposed” to do. Why should I feel that I am less than if I do not do everything perfectly? (Childhood trauma does great things to your mind, let me tell you) At almost fifty I can finally look at myself in the mirror and say, “You are good enough.” My poor husband has been telling me this for over twenty years. The man is a saint.
So, March has arrived, and I am starting fresh. Didn’t make February’s goals? Try again. I have my calendar blocked out with projects, and my book club, self-care days, and things that I like to do. (March goal 3: Sunday afternoon walks. Does this make me old? I mean, I am almost fifty…) My word for the month is “Nurture” and I intend to. I will nurture my talent, my soul, and myself.
My March TBR reflects this, not with self-help books (which I love to read, by the way; the authors are all so nice. …I never take their advice…) but in observing Women’s History Month. This country is a dumpster fire—give me strong intelligent women for guidance and inspiration! On this month’s TBR is…
So Here I Am: Speeches by Great Women to Empower and Inspire by Anna Russell: So Here I Am brings together empowering speeches by women throughout history up to the present day. This is a celebration of women speaking up; within politics, science, human rights, TV and media – discussing everything from free love, anti-war, discoveries, race, gender and women’s rights. With evocative and powerful illustrations from Brazilian artist, Camila Pinheiro, this anthology of great women – whose own achievements speak for themselves – is timely and important. This shot of inspiration serves as a reminder that despite all adversity, nevertheless, she persisted. Speakers include: Sojourner Truth; Marie Curie; Emmeline Pankhurst; Helen Keller; Sylvia Rivera; Manal Al Sharfi; Malala Yousafzai; Michelle Obama; Alicia Garza.
Spinning Straw into Gold:What Fairy Tales Reveal About the Transformations in a Woman’s Life by Joan Gould: What’s your favorite fairy tale? Whether it’s “Cinderella,” “Beauty and the Beast,” “Hansel and Gretel,” or another story, your answer reveals something significant about you, your experiences, and your soul. In this penetrating book, Joan Gould brings to the surface the hidden meanings in fairy tales and myths, and illuminates what they can tell you about the stages in your own life. As Gould explores the transformations that women go through from youth to old age–leaving home and mother, the first experience of sexuality, the surprising ambivalence of marriage, the spiritual work required by menopause and aging–her keen observations will enrich your awareness of your inner life. Full of archetypal figures known to us all, Spinning Straw into Gold also includes stories from the lives of ordinary women that clarify the insights to be gained from the beloved tales that have been handed down from one generation to the next.
Queens of a Fallen World: The Lost Women of Augustine’s Confessions by Kate Cooper: While many know of Saint Augustine and his Confessions, few are aware of how his life and thought were influenced by women. Queens of a Fallen World tells a story of betrayal, love, and ambition in the ancient world as seen through a woman’s eyes. Historian Kate Cooper introduces us to four women whose hopes and plans collided in Augustine’s early adulthood: his mother, Monnica of Thagaste; his lover; his fiancée; and Justina, the troubled empress of ancient Rome. Drawing upon their depictions in the Confessions, Cooper skillfully reconstructs their lives against the backdrop of their fourth-century society. Though they came from different walks of life, each found her own way of prevailing in a world ruled by men. A refreshingly complex and compelling portrait of Augustine, Queens of a Fallen World is the riveting story of four remarkable women who set him on course to change history. (NKP: I’m not particularly interested in Augustine, but the women that made him who he was deserve to be known)
Earth Worship: A Woman’s Philosophical & Spiritual Connection to Our Wild World by Linda Blackmoor: Earth Worship weaves together the ancient threads of feminine wisdom, deep ecological philosophy, and the transformative magic of spirituality to guide readers on a profound journey of reconnection with the Earth. It is an ode to the enchanting and intricate relationship between women and the natural world, a bond that is both sacred and essential for our collective healing and enlightenment. It is a call to awaken to the divine feminine energy that flows through all of life, urging us to reclaim our rightful place as guardians and nurturers of our planet. Earth Worship delves into the heart of nature’s mysteries, offering a rich tapestry of stories, rituals, and reflections that illuminate the spiritual and philosophical pathways through which women can forge a deeper, more meaningful connection with the natural world. Drawing on the wisdom of ancient cultures, the insights of modern ecological thought, and the timeless teachings of the Earth itself, this book serves as a compass for those seeking to navigate the complexities of modern life while staying rooted in the profound truths that nature imparts. It is not merely a book to be read; it is an experience to be lived, a journey to be undertaken with an open heart and a willing spirit, ready to be transformed by the profound lessons that only the Earth can teach. (Synopsis from Amazon.com)
Woman’s Lore: 4,000 Years of Sirens, Serpents, and Succubi by Sarah Clegg: Demonic temptresses – from siren-mermaids to Lilith – are well known today, and their mythology focuses around the seductive danger they pose to men. But the root of these figures can be traced back 4,000 years and in their earliest incarnations they were in fact demons worshipped and feared like Lamashtu, the horrific talon-footed, serpentine monster, who strangled infants and murdered pregnant women, or the Gello, the ghost of a girl who had died a virgin and so killed expectant mothers and their babies out of jealousy. This history of a demonic tradition from ancient Mesopotamia to the present day – from Lamashtu and Gello, to Lamia and Lilith, and mermaids and vampires – shows how these demons were co-opted by a male-centered society, before being recast as symbols of women’s liberation. We also learn what this evolution can tell us about the experience of women and the danger of childbirth, changing attitudes towards sexuality and the movement for women’s rights.
She-Merchants, Buccaneers & Gentlewomen: British Women in India by Katie Hickman: Women made their way to India for exactly the same reasons men did – to carve out a better life for themselves. In the early days, India was a place where the slates of ‘blotted pedigrees’ were wiped clean; bankrupts given a chance to make good; a taste for adventure satisfied – for women. They went and worked as milliners, bakers, dress-makers, actresses, portrait painters, maids, shop-keepers, governesses, teachers, boarding house proprietors, midwives, nurses, missionaries, doctors, geologists, plant-collectors, writers, travelers, and – most surprising of all – traders. As wives, courtesans and she-merchants, these tough adventuring women were every bit as intrepid as their men, the buccaneering sea captains and traders in whose wake they followed; their voyages to India were extraordinarily daring leaps into the unknown. The history of the British in India has cast a long shadow over these women; Memsahibs, once a word of respect, is now more likely to be a byword for snobbery and racism. And it is true: prejudice of every kind – racial, social, imperial, religious – did cloud many aspects of British involvement in India. In this landmark book, celebrated chronicler, Katie Hickman, uncovers stories, until now hidden from history: here is Charlotte Barry, who in 1783 left London a high-class courtesan and arrived in India as Mrs William Hickey, a married ‘lady’; Poll Puff who sold her apple puffs for ‘upwards of thirty years, growing grey in the service’; Mrs Hudson who in 1617 was refused as a trader in indigo by the East Indian Company, and instead turned a fine penny in cloth; Julia Inglis, a survivor of the siege of Lucknow; and Flora Annie Steel, novelist and a pioneer in the struggle to bring education to purdah women. (All book synopses and photos from Goodreads.com unless otherwise noted) There you have it! My sister and I will also be finishing The Woman They Could Not Silence by Kate Moore this month. This “Sister Read” went by much faster than the last; granted, it is a smaller book, but it also reads really quickly. It is also extremely relevant to present circumstances in the US. Which is appalling, as the events in this book took place in the 1860s. It reiterates the fact that history does repeat itself, and if we do not learn from the past there will be no future.
It’s almost February! That means it’s time to start my new TBR! And celebrate Middle Son’s birthday! And Oldest Grandson’s birthday! (I call him Finch.) And if those weren’t exciting enough, it’s also International Correspondence Writing Month, affectionately known as InCoWriMo. I jumped on incowrimo.org a couple weeks ago to introduce myself and see who is participating this year; I now have a list of names for some potential new friends, and it’s time to get writing! I always have a bit of a hard time getting started, I never know what to say and end up sounding like a boring nerd. To the people kind enough to overlook that and respond, I am a much better conversationalist. I’m better at answering questions than coming up with interesting ones on my own, and I have to say, my life isn’t all that exciting, so I suppose I am rather boring.
Nevertheless! I love hearing from new people, and I really do love writing letters. And receiving letters. It’s so nice to see a handwritten letter in the mailbox, not just bills and junk mail. I have to admit, I have not always been the most faithful correspondent, which is something I intend to correct this year. I am not in school anymore, I only have one kiddo at home that needs me to take care of him (and he’s 15, so he is largely independent. I just need to make sure there is a steady supply of food. Constantly.), and I’m not much of a TV watcher, so I have no excuse. Granted, I read a lot, and I should be finishing a poetry manuscript, but I can certainly answer a letter when it arrives.
What does one write in an introductory letter to a potential new pen pal? Bella Grace Magazine offers these suggestions:
1.A moment of kindness you witnessed while people-watching 2. A place you’ve always wanted to visit and what you hope to do there 3. One thing on this season’s bucket list 4. A compliment you’ve always wanted to give to the recipient 5. A book or movie you’ve recently experienced and want to recommend 6. A person who has made a profound impact on your life 7. Something small you’ve accomplished recently that makes you feel really good 8. A list of questions you’ve always wanted to ask the recipient (NKP: If this is a new correspondent this doesn’t really help) 9. How you’d spend your ideal day 10. A holiday you’ve made up and how you’d like to celebrate it (NKP: You can make up holidays???)
Washigang.com suggests:
1.Write about your week! Share a funny story from your week, the best and worst things that happened, what you were grateful for and what you wish you did better. Describe some of the things you enjoyed doing, eating, watching etc. 2. Favorite things. Describe your current favorite things: food, books, movies, tv shows, places, animals etc. Ask your Pen Pal to do the same. 3. Write a quiz to help you get to know your Pen Pal, friend or Grandma even better! 4. Write a thank you letter to a friend, teacher, colleague or family member. 5. Share a favorite recipe! Add a story about what this recipe means to you, or about a time that you made it. Discuss things that you’re enjoying cooking at the moment. 6. Create a reading list, watch-list or listening list for your Pen Pal to enjoy. Ask them to send you one back. This will give you an opportunity to discuss your opinions later on. 7. Share what it was like for you growing up. Describe your favorite childhood memories about what you liked to do, what it was like in your family and where you lived etc. 8. Write about your ideal holiday and the kinds of things you like to do when traveling. Ask your Pen Pal the same question. 9. Do an art swap! Swapping art/crafts with someone is a lovely way to find new art or to collect art in an affordable way. 10. Talk about your life. Who’s important to you, what are your values and hopes & dreams for the future. What are things you enjoy about your life and what are things that you wish were different? (NKP: This sounds a little heavy…)
And finally, allisonmariealexander.com offers these funk and funky things to include with a letter:
newspaper clippings from your local newspaper
face masks
scrapbook paper
unusual or foreign coins (or a quarter with their state on it)
a watercolor palette (with dried paint from tubes, watercolor pencils, or watercolor crayons)
an aesthetic collage (either their aesthetic or yours)
playlists, lyrics, or artist suggestions
pamphlets from local business or visitor’s centers
a map of your city/state/province/etc. marked with your favorite places
a hand-drawn map of your property, house, bedroom, etc.
paint chips or paint cards in pretty colors
pictures cut from magazines, calendars, etc.
small works of art
printables
hand lettered verses or quotes
jokes or riddles
greeting cards (you can write the first part of your letter in these and add additional sheets of stationery as needed)
This is turning into a very long post. I’m sure you get the idea. You can also go on Pinterest to find a ton of letter suggestions. If you are interested in participating in InCoWriMo, visit https://incowrimo.org/2025/01/incowrimo-address-exchange-2025/ and join the fun. (You do need to have or set up a Disqus account to list your contact info. If you are not comfortable sharing your information, you can say so, and people will message you by whatever means you prefer.)
Let me know if you’d like a letter or postcard! Happy writing!
This is the Mask 